Let’s identify what’s different between looking at a situation from one way or the other, and how we experience the situation differently based on how we view it. And in the end, which point of view is most healthy for us? The example we’ll use is when someone does something that gets in the way of what we want. It might be a driver that pulls out in front of us, a person that flies of the handle about something we did, or possibly someone who causes us trouble because they didn’t live up to their responsibilities. In all these situations here are two possible ways of interpreting their response:
- They’re all wrong and why do I have to be on the receiving end? And our anger builds.
- Who knows what they’re going through. I’ll cut them some slack and not send them my negative energy.
Because we know they have to be doing what they’re doing; their Mix is playing out, what good comes from the first response? What good comes from us being angry at them? Are we better off when we don’t get angry and are more compassionate? The second response is a great example of making our energy primary. The second choice is also the one most supportive for our mental and physical health. Too bad our Mix usually motivates us to see the first choice as the ‘one’. Our anger usually drives our responses. Try changing this around and I believe you’ll like what happens to you.