When we’re involved with an environment which is toxic for us what can we do? If we want to change those situations into something better we need to do something new. Since the chance of others changing is pretty slim because of who they are, the only choice we have is to change ourselves. This change has to do with changing the way we view the situation (our current Mix) until we can accept it in a way that settles us down. What’s most important is to see we feel bothered because of who we are, not because of who they are or the situation we’re in. This is a tough pill to swallow, but if you don’t see this as a fundamental aspect of change you’re stuck. If you need them to change good luck! Not an easy task, but whoever said having a better life is easy? These points should give you a good direction:
I realize if I were just like them; had the same genetics and life experiences, I would be just like them. They’re not going to change. I need to change the way I view the situation until it makes me feel more peaceful and accepting of others. I need to write down the thoughts that enter my head because of who I am, so I can see my destructive thoughts, instead of thinking others are putting those thoughts in my head. Once I identify the thoughts that are getting me bothered I can develop new thoughts that calm me down when situations start bothering me. By practicing the repetitions of writing down the thoughts that get in our way and new thoughts to replace them with we are preparing ourselves for when the tough times find us. If you wait until you’re getting bothered to go through the process you’ll be overwhelmed. So spending the time to prepare by identifying what gets you bothered and having prepared new stories to change your energy, you’re doing the work necessary for change.
I would sit down and write different ways I can view the situation that makes me at least OK with their behaviors. Without having a new and different way to view the situation up in our brain, how will we ever be different? So, by writing down how we want to change how we view them, we give ourselves the best chance to change our energy. And remember, if we change the energy running through us and out to others things will change for the better! If we don’t change the way we view them we will always feel the same tensions. Is that really what we want?
We can look at the situation as an experiment to see if we can rise above who we currently are by sending more peaceful energy through us and out to others. It will be a continual work in progress, but in the end, we will be so much more capable of dealing with life’s toughest challenges. Taking the time to be aware of what specific thoughts get in our way and what to replace them with so we’re prepared when trouble shows up is extremely helpful, because, without a plan, it’s almost impossible to perform under the pressures when they show up.