Coach Bob

Overcoming our fear of speaking

 I was recently on the largest late-night talk show in America where there was between 3-5 million listeners.  As I was listening to the host review the news of the day to start the show, I held my phone up to my ear waiting to go live.  The difference between giving a speech to an audience and doing this radio show is you can prepare for the speech by writing it down and practising.  On the radio show, I have no idea what the host will ask, and when they do listener call-in, I have no idea of what the listeners will ask.  The great thing about it for me was because I practised handling these pressure situations, I had no fear.  By simply listening to what the host or listeners ask, my brain had no fearful interference and my best came out.  The same will hold true for any situation when we have to speak in important situations.  It might be with just another person, like in a job interview, or when we have to get up in front of an audience.  The key to remember is at the moment of truth, you know what you know.  What you want is to let it come out in a way that transfers your message to your audience.  Being in a calm state of mind is essential for that to happen.  All the preparation in the world won’t save us if we can’t conquer our fears.  Thankfully, it’s a skill we can learn!   …

When unexpected events occur

When things don’t go as planned life can get pretty hectic!  Even though we know life takes its twists and turns, we still get perplexed when the unforeseen enters the picture.  Being outcome-based creatures, we can get really bothered when things don’t go as planned.  What are our options when life takes a turn for the worst?   Seems we’ve got two basic choices; to allow our frustrations and concerns determine what we do next or realize life will always affect us in unforeseen ways and the best we’ve got when that happens is to calm down and get in control.  Much easier to let our emotions of anger and fear lead the way.  It’s our natural response and seems like the only choice we have at the time disaster strikes.  Very easy to justify our negative feelings when the outside world interferes with our plans.  But where does that get us?  I think we’ll all agree getting in control will lead to our best efforts.  We might not be able to pull off what we intended, but we’ll make the best of the situation and that builds our self-confidence.           …

Job Interview

When it’s time to show our ‘stuff’, the pressure can really mount.  Let’s take a look at what we’re facing when we’re interviewing for a job.  We all go through many ‘interviews’ concerning work during our life.  No matter if it’s an interview with a new company or trying to advance in our current company, it’s only natural to feel the pressure.  In these types of situations, it might help if we remember this concept:  The easiest way to handle the pressure is to listen to what they’re asking and honestly express yourself.  By doing so you show them you’re attentive (listening) and they find out exactly who you are so they can see if you’re a fit for them.  Why would you want to go to work there if you weren’t a good fit?  Besides, trying to figure out what they want to hear instead of honestly expressing is easily picked up by a skilled interviewer.  So, hopefully, by seeing it’s just a simple job of listening and being honest, you relieve yourself of the pressure and can peacefully enjoy the interaction.  When an interviewer sees you’re in control, attentive and honest, you give yourself a great chance of ending up working in an environment you’ll enjoy.  And don’t be afraid if you’re a little nervous.  An interviewer will except that.  What’s far more important is clearly sharing who you are.           …

Under Control

Long ago, when I started my journey into what turned out to be ‘Coach Bob’, the method I used to try and figure out how to be both successful and happy kept returning to the same concept.  I found one concept, more than any other, was the simplest and easiest way for me to keep moving forward.  I saw no matter what I was involved with at the time; family, friends, intimate relationships or business, this concept was the most essential.  Care to guess what it is?  It’s simply being able to get myself in control of my state of mind when the pressure in these areas of life was bearing down on me.  As long as I could take a deep breath and slow down long enough to calm down and think it through, things always turned out alright.  It’s when I couldn’t calm down and let my anger, fear or excitement run the show I did the things that I paid the price for.   All the effort I’ve made over the years to control my energy when it matters has given me by far my most valuable skill—emotional control when it matters most.   It’s at the heart of all my coaching.…

Learning from losses and setbacks

What are the lessons to learn from our big losses or setbacks?  When we’re informed of some really bad news what’s the way to get back into control so we can handle the damage?  It’s hard to concentrate on these important questions when we’re at ground zero.  What doesn’t change is the fact the sooner we can compose ourselves, the better off we are.  Once we get through the initial ground zero it’s time to take some quiet time to settle down and think through what happened.  ‘Knee-jerk’ reactions to bad random events usually make matters worse.  Taking time to learn from what just went down can be of enormous help as we move forward.  Big losses or setbacks inflict pain, that’s true.  But the event will pass and the more we learn from it the better our future.        …

Relationship stress

 ‘Relationship stress’ sucks!  And managing that stress takes a lot out of both parties.  Relationships cut across every area of our life, and the degree we successfully navigate these relationships is critical to our happiness and success.  The approach I’ve found best is not always the easiest one to do but is surely the one that gives everyone involved the best result.  And it works no matter what type of relationship we’re dealing with; family, social network, partner or business.  I just try to ask myself this simple question: “Am I better off sending the situation my anger or fear, or better off sending them my peaceful energy?”   Certainly not always easy to do, but when possible, always seems to yield the best result …

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